"That'll be 11 coupons and your dignity, ma'am."

I went to the Texas State Fair last week and may as well have ingested a vat of grease while rubbing fried butter on my face. If you can imagine how one might look and feel after doing that, you can imagine how I look and feel right now (not pretty). In my defense, I had taken four shots of tequila the night before and felt more entitled than usual to the fried treats all around me. In a desperate attempt to recover lost vitamins, minerals, and a general quality of life, I went to Whole Foods, spent a fortune on organic produce, and parked myself in the kitchen until all my nutrient-packed ingredients were properly prepared into edible dishes. I want to share these recipes with you because I know I'm not the only one who has woken up feeling like not even a stint at the gym could begin to repair the damage done from one weekend's worth of bad decisions. Today, I reclaim my dignity through healthy, nutritious, simple dishes, and I already feel a little better. Enjoy!

I cannot take credit for this recipe, and as much as I hate to admit where I got it from, I'm going to have to tell you...Gwyneth Paltrow's banal and slightly self-righteous blog, This is Goop. This soup was part of a week-long detox plan that her nutritionist suggested, so naturally, I tried it. Worst week of my life. The soup, though, will surprise you with its depth of flavor, I promise!


2 heads of broccoli, cut into florets
1/2 box baby arugula
5 cups water (enough to barely cover broccoli)
6 cloves garlic, roughly chopped
1 yellow onion, quartered
1 Tablespoon Kosher salt
4 twists fresh cracked black pepper
1 lemon, halved
1 Tablespoon olive oil

Heat olive oil in large pot
throw in onions, saute for 5 mins
throw in garlic, saute until fragrant
add salt and pepper, stir up
throw in broccoli, saute till bright green
add water, leaving the top layer of broccoli slightly uncovered, bring to boil
simmer for 20 mins
turn off heat
add arugula
puree with immersion blender until very smooth
squeeze lemon juice from both halves into soup, stir
add salt and pepper to taste

This can be served hot or at room temperature.